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From the time I was a little girl, I was taught the difference between needs and wants. Mainly because my mother was always telling me, “You don’t need that!” in response to my whining that I just “had to have” the newest this-or-that. And she was right. I didn’t need it. Looking back on my childhood, I realize that my sisters and I had everything we needed…and most of what we wanted, despite the fact that our mom was a single mother of three and working two jobs to make ends meet.

I think as adults we need to evaluate our expectations of the life we have and the one we hope to someday have. Distinguishing between our needs and our wants is a big part of this evaluation and finding a middle ground so that all our needs are met, and at the same time we aren’t denying ourselves of some of the “wants” simply because we think we shouldn’t. (Or, for the people out there who feel that they deserve all of the things they want - and who am I to say they don’t - maybe evaluating how this will effect their hopes of a financially stable and comfortable future will change their mind.)

My sisters, who are now 19 (yes, twins), are the type of personality that feel they deserve everything they want. They were spoiled by our grandparents growing up and never really had to work for anything. You want a horse? Ok. Dirt bike? Check. Here I was, the only one bringing home the good grades and working just months after I was legally able to, just kind of stuck to the side. Although I resented it at the time, I am almost thankful now because it gave me perspective. Something my sisters still don’t fully understand. How could they, when everything was handed to them?

I had a job at 16. I paid my own car insurance (for a car my mom bought me, yes…but it was because I was bringing home straight A’s). I moved out a month after graduating, living with Dave in a one bedroom apartment. I was taught responsibility and living on my own also gave me insight to my needs and wants. We needed to eat. We needed a place to live and running water and electricity. Unfortunately, I also felt that my wants were pretty important, and those often came in the form of purchases on the credit card. I thought I was doing ok because, “Hey! The bills are paid!”

My sisters are the type that expect to have the best, all of the time. They want the sportiest cars. The expensive clothes. They didn’t have jobs until just recently, and they moved out before they were really ready. They grew up expecting others to bend over backwards, to fulfill both their needs and wants. And, unfortunately for them, they often received these requests. I say unfortunately because now they are struggling to even keep jobs and pay bills. They’re 19 and both on debt management programs because of their credit card debt. (So am I, but they’ve dug themselves deeper in a much quicker time and at a younger age.)

I’m not perfect. I’ve made a lot of bad financial decisions and indulged a lot because I felt that I deserved it. I’m a self proclaimed shopaholic who loves the emotional high of buying stuff. But I can say that I’ve never been very disillusioned about the difference between my needs and wants. I was taught to work for what I want, because it was very rarely ever just handed to me.

It’s something I’m working on, the process of evaluating my expectations and making adjustments so that I can someday say that I did my best and reached my goals. I want to travel. I want to live comfortably. I want children and a house and I want be a stay at home mother and wife. And I know realistically that if we are going to make those dreams come true for us, I need to stop overindulging in the things that I want. There is nothing wrong with lowering my expectations for the material things in life. I’m pretty sure I’ll survive.

Admitting that was just one of many of the first steps to our journey of financial freedom. It’s going to be a long road.